Thursday 30 September 2010

Letting myself down

Once fooled is a lesson learned in expectations and people changing.
Tuck it away, fill in the cracks and move on.

Never let yourself go twice. It isn't what you wanted it to be, push off, forget it and never be so naive again, little girl.

Got it?

Didn't think so.

Life Hiatus

This summer, I took a break from my life. I didn't go out, I didn't really talk to anyone, I didn't extend myself, or break boundaries or achieve anything to be proud of, I think it may have been one of the best things I have ever chosen to do.

I'd almost forgotten what it felt like not to have someone else's problems set in front of you, to be the glue holding a rickety operation in place. To be actively self-interested.The thing which makes all of this bizarre, is that I'm pretty sure I started changing, for someone else, though having finished, I can see it was all for me, and that I'm pretty certain the person who started it all means nothing to me any more.

And now I'm back, back in the real world, with a better, stronger me to deal with whatever comes my way. I have some loose ends to tie up, a few ties which perhaps ought to be cut. Easy? Perhaps not, but simple? Without a doubt.

XX